How to choose the right advice to listen to
Everyone nowadays seem to be offering opinions, regardless of whether they are beneficial or harmful to the other person.
It can be through blog, your social media, youtube, seminars, conferences, magazines, and just about any medium that can convey a message, even those that are close to you.
Here’s the thing though.
Most of the advice offered can either do you good or make your situation worse.
For example, in Relationship
How many of us who get dating and relationship from friends who we knew had never had any relationship whatsoever, yet we believe in what they say? They probably say what they say because they are just trying to help.
When it comes to business, we have so many thought schools; should we follow the advice of the successful billionaires and millionaires? Or Success Magazine? Entrepreneur magazine? or your parents and friends advice?
But sometimes, even among these millionaire, we find conflicting facts that gets us really confused.
How bad can a simple advice get?
Ricky Donnell Ross, a k a “Freeway Rick,” was a drug kingpin in the 1980s in South Central Los Angeles, supplying cocaine to other parts of the country.
Wonder how and why he gets to where he is?
He said it was because he asked his teacher one simple question.
And that question is, how to be successful?
And his teacher replied:” sell drug” And that is what he did.
He became so successful in the drug trade that prosecutors estimated Ross exported several tons of cocaine nationally and made more than $600 million.
Even in fitness, some trainer may tells us to workout a certain way, while the other trainer may tell you its all wrong.
The culture usually tells us its important to stretch before a workout, we are taught that in schools or sometimes in the gym.
But here you go, someone telling you that it’s not okay to stretch before workout.
And after seeing his reasoning, I believe in him and changed my belief too.
And it wasn’t just our career or fitness life that is affected as well.
In fact we have so many categories of life that defines us.
Our love life, spiritual life, creative life, intellectual life, family life, our character, adventure goals, community life, and financial.
These are the key areas that shapes us but we rarely set goals or ask advice about all these except for the infamous career choices.
We are often trapped in a culture where career is the only thing that matters and which defines our success.
In my culture, many people would perceive that being a doctor or an engineer to be successful.
Most advice goes like:” you must work in the oil & gas companies, work with Petronas, shell, Schlumberger. Or be a doctor.
Yet, little they know that those jobs are very demanding and tiring, stressful and is harmful for our health.
We expect doctors to cure us, but they themselves are sometimes sicks, or even obese, and even made bad food choices.
I was lost too, before I had my enlightenment after reading Vishen’s book The code of extraordinary mind.
In fact, there are many things that i didn’t know.
Do you know that breakfast, lunch and dinner is not common until the European made it a standard?
Or the fact that eating according to the food pyramid has caused so much obesity and disease among mankind?
They are none other that the opinions of the capitalists who only care about profit and making sure that their opinion is backed by the law is surely a profitable way to make money.
So where can you pick the right advice that will serve you?
Here’s few way to pick the right advice for yourself.
First of all, understand yourself.
Decide the life that you want to live.
Answering these 3 most important questions is a good way to start.
Forget about what the society tells you.
Listen to what your hearts desire.
If you still unsure about what you want in life, keep trying many things.
Who knows if you try the guitar you would actually love it and eventually that love will enable you to master the skills of playing and lands you on a big band?
It just might happen.
Or perhaps you can try various sports and who knows you might actually love it and even become a major league player?
Just keep trying until you find the one that sticks and just spend time and effort to master it.
Secondly, focus on results only.
After you define what you want, find someone that already achieve that, and ask them how they do it.
For example if you aspire to be a professional sports player, say a champion like Lee Chong Wei, just read his book and follow every available advice that he offers, and the best and fastest way, is to have him coach you.
If you love music and have a great voice, follow closely how the successful artist get to where they are.
Learn about their journey and their story, and best yet, send them an email or shoot them a DM on instagram or twitter; just do whatever you can.
If you are hungry and believe that you should live your dreams, then keep trying and learning how the successful artist achieved their success.
If you are looking for relationship advices, don’t look into magazines.
Magazines’ only attention is to get you to buy their magazine, not real advices that will actually helps you.
And be careful when you google too, because there’s a lot of people offering various advice unless it is based on their experiences.
The best way is to read book about it. Books that contains solid facts and research behind them.
Some great example would be Men are from Mars, Women from Venus.
Or if you’re looking to be in a relationship, read the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene.
He’s the real deal. If they are inaccessible to you, read their biographies, if any.
Most successful people love to share their stories so that more people can be inspired and make a difference like they do.
For myself, I have read many biographies from Steve Job, Robert Kiyosaki, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Jack Ma, and so many more.
But it was Richard Branson’s book that resonate with all of me, and I find it perfectly natural to do what he do and how he do it, and I just look to him for inspiration and business advices.
However for a melancholic friend of mine, he finds Steve Job to be someone he could relate with.
That friend of mine is a bit cold, just like Steve Job.
Yet he finds it perfectly fitting for him to be and follow Steve Job’s style.
But not me.
It is much easier to follow the footstep of someone who shared a similar personalities like you.
If you are unsure of what your personality is, start here.
Thirdly, never stop learning every single day.
Sometimes, what you learned 5 or 10 years ago may not be useful today.
Advices and opinions that you get from someone you cherished before might not work in this time.
Therefore it is so important to keep renewing your beliefs by reading something in either one of the areas of your life.
If you want to be better in your career, read books like Be so Good they can’t ignore you.
That goes to the rest of the various areas of your life.
You have to keep improving them.
If you only focused on just business or your career, then the other areas of your life will suffer.
Have you ever heard of many successful people who sucks at relationship and have many divorces over their life?
Or people who are successful yet commit suicide?
They failed to feed their soul that’s why.
The lesson here is, for people of my age (26), it is important to keep growing in your career or business, but never neglect the other areas of your life.
Always commit time to learn something new about the other areas of your life especially your spirituality.
I have many suicidal thoughts before because I was busy building up my career life be that I neglected in taking care of my soul and emotion.
Live the life that you truly want.
Make it a great one. For you only live once.